Creation · · 5 min read
Building Something New While Not Knowing What I'm Doing
I'm not writing this from the other side of success. I'm writing it from the middle of the unknown.
I'm currently learning how to build more of an online presence.
Part of that is connected to my book, Notice it… don't feed it. Part of it is connected to sharing ideas that have helped me in real life. And part of it is connected to something bigger — the possibility of building a different kind of future.
After more than 20 years in pest control, I've started to seriously explore what it might look like to build something different.
An online presence. A message. A brand. A possible new direction. Maybe even a future career change.
And as exciting as that sounds, it also brings up a lot.
Confusion. Doubt. Impatience. Fear of wasting time. Fear of being judged. Fear of not knowing enough. Fear that it's too late. Fear that I'm in over my head.
There are moments where I feel clear and motivated.
Then there are moments where my mind starts throwing questions at me:
"What should I post?" "Is this even working?" "Who am I to talk about this?" "What if people don't get it?" "What if I fail?" "What if I'm just kidding myself?"
In the past, I probably would have treated those thoughts as signs that I should stop.
But I'm starting to see them differently.
Maybe confusion is not a reason to quit.
Maybe doubt is not proof that I'm on the wrong path.
Maybe the unknown is not a wall.
Maybe it's just part of stepping into something new.
The mind wants certainty before we move.
But life often asks us to move before certainty arrives.
That is where Notice it… don't feed it becomes very practical for me.
Not as an idea in a book.
But as something I have to apply while building, learning, posting, trying, failing, adjusting and continuing.
I can notice the thought that says, "This is too hard."
I can notice the feeling of uncertainty in my body.
I can notice the urge to stop, overthink, compare or wait until I feel ready.
And I don't have to feed it.
That doesn't mean I suddenly become fearless.
It means fear no longer gets to make every decision.
It means doubt can be present without being in charge.
It means confusion can show up without becoming a stop sign.
Right now, I don't have everything figured out.
I'm learning as I go.
But maybe that is the journey.
Not waiting until I feel completely confident. Not waiting until the fear disappears. Not waiting until I have the perfect plan.
Just noticing what shows up… not feeding it the way I used to… and taking the next step from there.
Still caught in it sometimes. Just noticing it sooner.